ALL ABOARD FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!

A friend of mine said to me once, in response to my falling short of group expectations....“You’re out of the loop”.

I was banished!!

So what did I do?

Sit in the corner and sulk like a big sook?

No! Not this social refugee!

I went loop lobbying until I’d joined so many loops....being ostracised from the odd one or two made little difference.

So if you’re ever ‘de-looped’.....don’t sit there sulking like a sooky victim!

Become a Laughing Loopster.....and soon you’ll be in and out of more loops than a city train, and loving every minute of the journey!!

CARE FOR A CUPPA?

There was a group of elderly gentlemen in Japan who would meet to exchange news and drink tea. One of their diversions was to search for costly varieties of tea and create new blends that would delight the palate.

When it was the turn of the oldest member of the group to entertain the others, he served tea with the greatest ceremony, measuring out the leaves from a special container. Everyone had the highest praise for the tea and demanded to know by what particular combination he had arrived at this exquisite blend.

The old man smiled and said, “Gentlemen, the tea that you find so delightful is the one that is drunk by the peasants on my farm.”

The finest things in life are neither costly nor hard to find.

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE.

One great question underlies our experience, whether we think about it consciously or not: What is the purpose of life? I have considered this question and would like to share my thoughts in the hope that they may be of direct, practical benefit to those who read them.

An interesting perspective from an interesting source:
http://www.fpmt.org/teachings/hhdl/compassionind.asp

THE DIAMOND

When the tramp reached the outskirts of the town and settled under a tree for the night, a local came running up to him and said, “The diamond! The diamond! Give me the precious diamond!”

"What diamond?" the tramp asked.

“Last night I was told in a dream that if I went to the edge of town at dusk, a tramp would give me a diamond that would make me rich forever.”

The tramp rummaged in his sack and pulled out a huge diamond - it was the size of a coconut.

He said, “They probably meant this. I found it on the path in my wanderings. Here, it’s yours if you want it.”

The man went home, gazing in wonder at the diamond.

All night he tossed about in bed.

At break of day, he returned to the tramp, woke him and said, “Give me the wealth that makes it possible for you to give this diamond away.”

Buddha replied, laughingly...."Look at life differently. You see me as a tramp. Others see me as an enlightened monk. You see this diamond as priceless. Others see it as a piece of rock. When you look through different eyes, you see different things - and you act accordingly."

SPLAT!!

THE SEDUCTIVE ART OF IRRATIONALISATION!

Have you ever heard people say:

"I haven't got time to enjoy life - I'm too busy!"
"I can't stop drinking because I'm an alcoholic!"
"I can't stop writing letters because I'm a letterholic!"
"I'm not responsible for my anger - it's genetic!"
"My temper is a cultural thing!"

Well, this next clown takes the cake (the mock cream variety, that is) smack bang on the face!

Enjoy! (but be sure to wear an apron!!)


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

CLOWN: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it....don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

CLOWN: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

CLOWN: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

CLOWN: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

CLOWN: Can't think of a single one, sorry.


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

CLOWN: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will exercise help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

CLOWN: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only exercise if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

CLOWN: Are you crazy? HELLO... Cocoa beans... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

CLOWN: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

CLOWN: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"


Our clown's "ride" skidded to a sudden halt from heart failure at the tender age of 39. He was morbidly obese, with a cholestrol level of 21.5. His liver was shot, and his brain rendered gaumless by his indulgences. His children were left fatherless, his partner....partnerless. His epitaph read simply.....

"WOO HOO! What a Clown!!"

NO TIME TO BREATHE?

A buddhist perspective from Achaan Chah


Q: Is it advisable to read a lot or study the scriptures as a part of practice?

A: The Dhamma of the Buddha is not found in books.

If you want to really see for yourself what the Buddha was talking about, you don't need to bother with books.

Watch your own mind.

Examine to see how feelings come and go, how thoughts come and go. Don't be attached to anything. Just be mindful of whatever there is to see.

This is the way to the truths of the Buddha.

Be natural.

Everything you do in your life here is a chance to practice.

It is all Dhamma.

When you do your chores, try to be mindful.

If you are emptying a spittoon or cleaning a toilet, don't feel you are doing it as a favor for anyone else.

There is Dhamma in emptying spittoons.

Don't feel you are practicing only when sitting still, cross-legged.

Some of you have complained that there is not enough time to meditate.

Is there enough time to breathe?

This is your meditation: mindfulness, naturalness in whatever you do.



TAKEN FROM THIS FASCINATING BUDDHIST SOURCE:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/chah/bodhinyana.html


DEFINITIONS

Buddha: the One-Who-Knows, the one who has purity, radiance and peace in his heart.

Dhamma: the characteristics of purity, radiance and peace which arise from morality, concentration and wisdom.